October 19, 2024
"I want to read and write more."
That thought has echoed in my mind for the past two years. Yet, as you can see from my sparse blog posts, I haven’t done much of either. While I do read articles here and there, it’s far less than I should. And writing? Well, it’s been even longer since I put pen to paper-or fingers to keyboard in my case. I’ve finally decided to change that, and it only makes sense to start by writing about why I haven’t been writing, and how I plan to fix it.
If I had to sum up the reason in one word, it would be laziness. But simply calling it laziness doesn’t solve the problem. Over time, I’ve come to realize that my “laziness” actually comes from two deeper issues.
Whenever I’ve tried to sit down and write, I can barely manage a sentence or two before I freeze. It’s easy to blame a lack of skill—and to be fair, skill is part of it—but I think the real reason is that I don’t believe I can write at the level I expect of myself. I’ve been stuck in a loop, where fear of not being good enough keeps me from practicing, and not practicing keeps me from improving.
Recently, with a bit of encouragement from a friend, I’ve started to break out of that mindset. I know that the only way to get better at writing is to actually write. So my plan is simple: write often, read more, and slowly improve until I reach a point where I can be proud of my work.
This ties into my fear of not being good enough. I’m constantly worried about what others might think of my writing. If I don’t think it’s great, how can I expect anyone else to? When I read articles on Hacker News about people doing incredible things and writing brilliantly about them, it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed. It’s that classic feeling: there’s so much to do, but because there’s so much, I don’t even know where to start.
But I’ve realized that this too has to change. I’ll never get anywhere if I’m paralyzed by the fear of what others might think. It’s time to put that aside and focus on my own growth. The only way forward is through action.
I’ve finally pushed through most of my internal blocks, and I’m ready to make a real effort to improve. Expect to see more writing from me soon—whether it’s good or not, I’ll keep at it.
UPDATE (November 11, 2024): It seems a lot of people feel in a similar way and this was reflected in this amazing discussion about the blog on Hacker News.